The Therapist Presence Series: Internal and External Factors
A practical exploration of the internal and external factors that shape how therapists show up in relation to others.
Chani (Caroline) Silver
Author
Learning therapy skills is not limited to observable behaviors alone. Shifting our internal understanding of who we are as people can provide fertile ground for those observable skills to develop.
In my previous blog post, I discussed the concept of “presence” - beginning to understand who you are in relation to others - one of the most powerful tools in a therapist's toolbox. I suggested that we can enhance our use of this tool by becoming more aware of how we are with others. I recommended, as a first step, finding a space to observe how being around people affects you.
Today, let’s explore the internal and external factors that can shift the way we feel, the way we are present, even when we’re around the exact same people.
Internal Factors
Intellectually, we recognize that how we feel is tied to what we’re experiencing in our bodies. If we’re hungry or in pain, another person’s presence might feel irritating rather than comforting. Our thoughts shape our presence, too - if you’re feeling anxious or excited, the energy you project shifts entirely. Take a moment to check in: What’s happening internally for you right now, and how is it affecting your posture, your facial expression, or your overall energy? (If you want to take this a step further, notice how different foods might affect your presence, too!)
External Factors
What about the world around you? Imagine walking into a room and discovering an unexpected creature - a bat, a mouse, or even a bear! In your imagination, notice how your presence changes. Now, what if that animal is your pet? How does being indoors versus outdoors alter your state? How is your presence affected by wearing a uniform versus dressing up for a special occasion? What else outside of yourself influences how you show up?
Try This Exercise
Find a place where you can sit near other people without interacting. Notice - without judgment - the internal and external factors shaping your presence in this moment.
Thank you for joining me on this exploration! I’d love to hear what your experience is like with these exercises in the comments. Next time, we’ll start noticing the effect our presence has on others.
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